Ramadan Reflections: Day 14 Nafs Hack with Amin Aaser

Nafs Hack: Intentionality

I was 24 years old, I come home, and my mom looks at me, she says, ‘Amin, I need a grandchild.’

The problem was I wasn’t even married, so I was like, ‘Mom, c’mon.’ But what that meant for me was that I needed to find my wife. So, I took it with the same level of seriousness that I do everything else in life. I created a PowerPoint presentation, created an Excel spreadsheet, started thinking about all of the things I needed to find in my wife, and alhamdulillah I found her. When I did, I remember going to jummah and meeting one of my teachers, and I said, ‘I’m going to get married.’ My teacher looked at me and he said, ‘Amin, how do you know that she’s the right one?’ I said, ‘Easy, I created an Excel spreadsheet.’ He laughed, but he said, ‘No, Amin, seriously. Think about it. Why are you getting married in the first place?’

Now, my name is Amin Aaser, and the organization I’m a part of is Noor Kids. We do research on the upbringing of Muslim children. And today, as part of our Nafs Hack, I want to talk about intentionality.

There are two researchers at the University of Alabama, Nick and Nancy Stinnett, and they conducted longitudinal research on marriages. They wanted to identify what were characteristics of successful marriages. One of the things that Nick and Nancy Stinnett at the University of Alabama found was God. Families that came together for the sake of God, with God as a part of them, they tended to be more successful than those that didn’t have God as a part of them.

Of course as Muslims we know Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’an, He didn’t create us except to worship him. Everything we do, whether it be our spouse, whether it be our wife, whether it be our kids, whether it be our work, everything can be for the sake of God and worship if we make the right intention.

So, today, set that intention. And insha’Allah, see the baraka in it. Thank you.